Life is not winter.
I keep waiting; praying for spring, feeling as if one storm after another blows in. Awful event takes place. I trust in God and revel in His comfort and provision. Sun starts to break, I feel His goodness, share His love, feel good. Then new storm hits. I’ve learned that God uses me most from flat on my back: from the darkest spots of grief, unemployment, car accidents, dropping out of college to broken relationships, bad decisions, depression and more. From the grossest events and feelings He moves the biggest mountains, the cycle of sin drenched earth surrounds me and I look up and see Him saying “I’m still here. Even in this time, even on that day. Look for me. Listen to me. Wait on me.”
Living in obedience when people around you do so differently is a calling only He can support. While living in community is a blessing, I keep looking to those around me to satisfy things they never could be capable of. It’s taken a long while to realize that my friends’ approval and attention cannot tell me I’m doing the right thing in life, and I won’t always get it anyway.
It's not that there is anything wrong with them or with me, but that God has us on different journeys and created us differently is evident. Only God can supply the reassurance, motivation, courage, strength and support that I need. Also, His desperately needs to be the voice calling that I answer to.
