Today in my junk mail box I noted an email marked urgent! It said “Job offer (EMPLOYMENT)”.
I just continued on my way and clicked “empty” button, before going to real websites to continue on in the seemingly unending, fruitless-as-of-yet search for employment that has become my life. However, the enticement of that junk mail continued to haunt me. Oh for it to be that easy. I must confess I envy people for whom finding a job was not difficult, or those who get to continue their education and spend their days in school. While God is faithful and showing me so many new things and giving me time to hone skills I needed to spend more time on, and so many other things, I yearn to work with a nearly physical hunger. It’s overwhelming and all-consuming, and blocks the path of good perspective many days. Not getting my way, not knowing what to change (or how to change/better my circumstances) is wearying and depressing. And so I do the best I can. God is ever-moving, all-knowing, all-loving, never-changing and so so good, but this is definitely a more difficult season. Tonight I find myself praying for spring once more, and a chance to see His glory reign, not just for my pleasure alone, but so that He is what shines from me.
I remember, post college, searching for a job. Three months of searching and searching.... and starting to wonder how everyone else got a job and if there was something inherently "un-hirable" about me. Don't believe that lie Lindsey. The timing will be perfect. Although it's not usually how we expect it to be.
ReplyDeleteHad I gotten a job right away after college, I wouldn't have ended up at Salem Alliance, which means I wouldn't be where I am now. I probably wouldn't even consider ministry jobs at all. It's a little crazy how sometimes time is all you need to lead you right to where you need to be.
You'll get there friend. I know it.
UPDATE!
ReplyDeleteYesterday I had an interview with Panda Express at Keizer Station. It's so astonishing to me that a few short days after I hit that wall of frustration that God was so faithful. I got the call Wednesday afternoon in the midst of 48-hours of a flu pandemic in my house. Hopefully this job works out and is perfectly in line with His plans, but even if it isn't, the fact that something came along to make me feel worthy again is just precisely what I needed and I am SO very grateful that He sees and knows our hearts and just what's perfect and will glorify Him rather than us. :)