The next step...

So, I'm at that point in my life where there have been so many false starts, failures, and last minute changes that have all blended together to be one messed up, yet perfectly wonderful, transition into adulthood. Recently I got the chance to spend some time with my youth pastor and dear friend Michelle and her family. On my last evening at her house, she had Erik and Jeanne-Ann and Becca over for dinner. One of the conversations was about blogging and a challenge was made to blog for 40 days. This is one of those things that alone I would set out on with good intentions then 3 days in give up, but as I sat there, I knew I needed to do it. So let's start with what God's been up to and where I'm at.

First off, I've realized lately that I am blessed by a family that is there for me every step of my life, through every storm they are there to listen, attempt to guide, and go kick butts when I'm hurt or in danger. Growing up, though all I could focus on was the missing parts: the lack of money in any branch of the fam, the lack of hope that comes from knowing Christ, the spot where my daddy was supposed to go that had people in and out of it to fill parts, but that was never really whole. I'm still trying to deal with these parts, each day it's a challenge and each day I discover ways my thinking was wrong. I say all this so that there is an understanding of where I come from so that when I explain what God is revealing and the things I'm dealing with now it will all make some sort of sense.

I decided to call this blog the next step because I'm in a place in my life where that is the biggest question for me. I don't know the answer, but I can see about a million possibilities, and sorting through them all has been and continues to be quite an adventure. Through it all Christ keeps leading me one small step at a time, requiring faith and trust in His big picture that I can only see the frame of.

The biggest challenge right now is the financial one. I find between my self and returning to school to finish my degree stand several thousand dollars. This is a huge frustration. Coming from a background where nobody trusts God, but makes their own plans, I automatically start calling a backup plan to College in my brain. But then I have to stop and say, wait a minute, this is where God called me, and there was a reason. Discovering His full intentions is difficult because He could be trying to teach me so many things. Slowly, though, he is faithful and reveals the steps to me.

SO. hopefully when this blog-a-thon is over in 40 days I'll find myself in a new situation. Hopefully I'll be a lot better at this understanding God's will thing too.