Wii wars, picnics, and magic tricks...

Wow, so I finally realized that I am not the "write a blog every single day of my life" sort of person. I truly tried, but realized that it takes me at least 24 hours to process the previous days events fully and when I write a blog at the end of the day, I feel like I don't really let it all absorb. So, in an effort to allow myself to process life, and to write something worth reading, I'm turning the 40 day blogging experience into the 40 whatever blogging experience. there may be weeks I blog almost every day and then there may be weeks I don't, but I'm going to try to honor my readers' (not that there are many of you) time and write worthy of you all.

now that that's over, My weekend has been filled with the blessing of spending a ton of time with my church family that has watched me grow from a baby Christian to a Sunday Christian, to someone with a true heart for Christ who sincerely makes the effort to make an impact in my sphere of influence for His sake. Spending time with them at our church picnic and then today in church has been difficult. These are the people I laugh with, cry with, praise with, pray for and with, trust, love, and share life with. I have for the last five years (not so much the last 2 years, except summers, but still). and It's hard to know that in less than 3 weeks, I will be leaving them for a new church family. There are aspects of this that excite me and others that sadden me. I am excited to be a bigger, more permanent fixture and part of what Christ is doing at Salem Alliance, but at the same time, I cherish what my life with this family at Elma Alliance has been and how I have changed and grown under their watchful eyes. It's a bittersweet moment in my life, and it's been a huge blessing to be able to focus on that this weekend.

Another challenge/blessing I was presented with this week was the realization that I am not Trinity and Michael's "auntie-mom" anymore. I have spent a lot of time with them, and realized that my being away at school the last two years has led them to be more dependent on my mom as their parent than on mom AND me. It's a Huge loss that I was in denial about until now. It's been an adventure in good ways and sad ways to try and find what my new role is in their lives.

I can only pray that God continues to challenge and encourage me. It's quite a bittersweet life I'm leading as I stand on the threshold of this major move. I am so very grateful for my Elma and Salem families through it all, and for Jesus' ever-presence carrying me through the stormy parts and the still ones.

Optimistic

So the last few days have been difficult. I'm going to be real, there have been moments when I wanted to just get angry and vindictive and disregard others' feelings just to make myself feel better. It takes every ounce of restraint and a constant mantra of "Love and forgive them". Sometimes I feel like it's impossible to have a good attitude about things, or a positive outlook. It only takes reminding myself of James 4:17 "Anyone then who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it sins" to remember why I try to live in love and refrain from retaliating. It's difficult. So today my battle has been reconciling the pain of turning the other cheek with the Glory Christ receives from His lowly servant's obedience.

oh BOYs

Today was beyond amazing, just for the simple fact that I got to go back to work for the first time in 2 weeks! In just that short of a time I had forgotten the joy that the two boys I watch bring into my life, just by spending ten hours a day with them. Today was a reminder of that. As we were building a fort out of an old couch, rubber inner tubes, the back porch and the pool ladder, I just where I experienced pure delight at the opportunity to share the lives of these two little boys and get to know their characters. It occurred to me again that the time I am investing in them this summer serves as so much more than just a paycheck; that I am at least a small part of helping guide them into the men that they will become someday, and that they are a huge part of helping me develop skills that my own children (God willing) will benefit from in the future. All this from a backyard fort. I thank God for it tonight.

Ecstasy derived from plans gone awry

Sometimes the best fun comes from the worst events. This week, I either lost my wallet or it was stolen, I am still unsure, and so was forced to depend on my friends for anything requiring money, because mine was inaccessible in Oregon without ID. SO, I decided to keep looking for my wallet, but never did find it. Through the generosity of friends I was able to get home, but I had also left my car keys at an office that was closed when we were available to go retrieve it. Long story short I had to stay in Salem a day longer than planned and miss a day of work. I was very upset when this happened, thinking my life was ruined because I really wanted to go home. So I was shuffled around with a few of my friends. In this shuffling I wound up being blessed with the opportunity to build my relationship with two of my good friends and even meet a new one. I learned a lot about trusting God even in circumstances that seem to be horrible, that He is so very powerful that he turned my frustration and anger at being stuck into the bliss of fellowship and conversation.

A life full of laughter...

Today I had the opportunity to go to a wedding. The exciting aura that surrounds the sacred blessedness of two people joining lives just penetrates to the very soul. it's such a blessing to be reminded of God's great design for marriage in a world that has perverted the institution. God has blessed me this weekend with the company of friends, re-learning the value of laughter and by rewarding faithfulness. The last few months have been tough financially, but I've been trying to trust His plan and that everything would come together this fall. Today the fruits of that trust were rewarded in a semi-big way as details were gone over for moving next month. It was just a great day that reminded me of God's great love for us as humans and that he walks among us everyday, living our lives with us. :)

Undignified

So the song Undignified by Matt Redman has has been running in my head for the last two weeks. It just runs through my head at random moments. I get to hang out with some amazing friends this weekend and the combination of the song and the fellowship (aka craziness) is an amazing reminder that it's okay to become more undignified for the glory of God.

The glory of living real

So, since I shared entirely way too much personal stuff for my first day, I think day 2 will be something a little less journally and a little more something else. First of all, I have amazing friends who take care of me, each in their own capacity. But I got to thinking about it, and the more I'm away from school, the more time I spend with real people. Something about the college environment that's amazing while you're in it (don't get me wrong, it's awesome) just stresses me out. It definitely FEELS surreal. Life just has a temporary feel. But being around real people all in different stages of life is so refreshing and a great reminder of all our perfect imperfections. It's just oh so wonderful. What's your favorite part about "real" life? I just know I'm not the only one who's picked up on it, that's all. :) I love that we serve a God so creative to have thought up all the different possible life situations, and the relationships that go along with each of those circumstances. It just baffles me.